Question on technology from a technophobe.....?

Ok I heard you can buy these radar guidance systems known as radars.(if u excuse the pun). Can I buy one which pacifically tracks all gays, Jews and females. Preferbly it would be a handheld ie. portable device. Could be called a jewdar, gaydar or femdar or an all in one system which I think could be known as a "womanjewgaydar". Could you please give me a link where I could buy one as a present for my niece. Thanks! btw its gr8 2 be here on the internet finally!