I like being a railfan but I don't like it at the same time?

IF you enjoy it as a hobby, then continue doing it. I work for a railway and have dealt with a lot of railfans on a regular basis over 7 years. From my experience, people just don't understand the fascination that other people have with trains. If everyone had the same interests, society would be very boring. It's no different to people having a fascination with cars, bikes, boats etc. What looks bad for most railfans though, are the odd few that unfotunately take safety risks to get a good shot. You have some good photos, and it would be a shame to see you quit if you enjoy it so much.